This is the first time, in my 20 years of existence, that a flood like this happened in our area. Good thing that our street was not affected.
The effect of typhoon Ondoy is really devastating, we all know it. Photos and videos are disturbing, it's really extremely upsetting.
As of now, I am still worried because I still didn't receive a message from my best friend and close friends from Marikina and Malabon. My relatives from Greenpark, Cainta are okay and they stayed here in our home for a while. We also have a relative somewhere in Cainta and still no news from them.
:(
While today, I received my board rating from PRC. And I was happy about the result. But after the happiness, the painful truth about this calamity took me over.
Enter the university, umpisa ng pagpila, univ grounds, akyat ng 4th floor (high school), Building A to B.
3:53pm -
Baba ng 3rd floor, Building B to A, baba ng 2nd floor, Building A to B.
5:48pm -
Baba ng 1st floor.
6:18pm -
Out of High school Building.
6:25pm -
Enter college building.
6:30pm -
Reached 4th floor.
6:38pm -
Enter University Gym (4th floor).
8:33pm -
Nakalabas ng gym. 4th floor, baba sa 3rd, 2nd, 1st floor.
September 6, 2009
1:42AM -
Nakalabas ng college Building.
1:52AM -
Nakalabas ng university, Central Avenue.
2:45AM -
Enter gate ng Templo.
Pila, tayo, upo, lakad, takbo, antok, pagod, ulan, gutom. 3 beses din ako nabigyan ng plastic, na may lamang 2 cupcake/fudgee bar, juice, candy. 1 beses nabigyan ng dinner na pinilahan ng 2 oras nila kuya.
Pumila ako kahit mag-isa ako, walang kasama, walang kakilala, para lang masilayan sya.
13 oras ng pagpila at paghihintay, kapalit ng 5 segundo ng huling pagsilay sa kanya.
Ganun ata talaga kapag mahal mo ang isang tao, handa ka mag sakripisyo.
September 7, 2009
Ilang oras na nakatayo sa ilalim ng ulan, masilayan lang ang paghahatid sa kanyang huling hantungan. Ngawit, pagod, gutom, buhos ng ulan at buhos ng luha.
Diretso sa Pampanga, para naman sa pagpanaw ng isang kamag-anak.
Linggo ng pagdadalamhati. Hanggang kailan, hanggang kailan?
I saw this coming because of her condition. But despite the anticipatory grieving, the Philippines was saddened by former President Corazon Aquino’s death yesterday. This is the least thing I could do, to tie a yellow ribbon on my blog. And another is to be brave like her in every situation I am, in every way I can.
To the brave woman who regained the Philippines’ democracy, to our country’s first woman president, may you rest in peace. UPDATE: I just want to add something; she is the first woman president in Asia. And I also learned that she is my schoolmate because she studied law in the same university where I graduated from but she gave up law eventually.
They pushed me, I was about to fall but I was able to recover my sense of balance. Everything was in slow motion; I felt that something was taken from me. I was holding my digital camera at my left hand, my right hand on my bag. I saw his face, he stared at me. The whole thing was still in dawdling motion, he was moving away from me with two more guys. He abruptly disappeared in the crowd of people, and then everything around me returned to normal pace. I gazed blankly at the multitude of people; something significant was taken from me. But I was not able to react quickly as if I have a GCS of 7.
Then suddenly, I regained my consciousness, I shouted, “magnanakaw!”
HAHA. Akala mo love story? LMAO.
That’s how my motorola phone was taken from me earlier while I was in AKO MISMO Dog Tag Day in Bonifacio High Street.(in slow motion =D). That’s the reason why I went home early and didn’t wait for the other bands to play. I feel bad not because I lost my phone (though I really love that phone) but because I do not know how to tell my mom that I lost a phone again (this is like the 5th or 6th time). Oh yes, until now, I haven’t told my mom yet and I’m not planning to because I don’t know how. Argh. So not until a relative of mine reads this, they wouldn’t know.
It’s just weird kasi I’ve been to Pulp, Muziklaban, Myxmo (concerts wherein there are more people and it’s really mas magulo) and this happened now kung kelan I attended a concert for a cause. Weird much huh.
Everything of this happened just because I lied to my mom earlier. I didn’t tell her that I was going to a concert, the reason why I don’t know how to tell her. (First time huh? =D)
Pero nagsisisi na talaga ko, swear, God knows I regret it.
Pero natatawa talaga ko na naiinis. =D
AKO MISMO, ANG NADUKUTAN NG PHONE KANINA SA AKO MISMO DOG TAG DAY.
I’ve been through hell just to get to that event. And then this? Kaya pala, parang ayaw ako paalisin kanina. And hey, I didn’t attend that event just because of the dog tag and the bands, but because I really wanted to make a stand for change. And that change starts within our selves. But looks like some people didn’t know the purpose of that event.
While I was on my way home, I passed by a murky street, only one street light is on. Whilst I was in close proximity to that light, it suddenly turned off. Total darkness. I was looking straight ahead, but I saw nothing. I heard nothing; I couldn’t hear even the music from my ipod. I wanted to shout, but not a sound comes out. I felt so alone.
I have lots of friends. Close friends. Best friends. Real friends. But there would really be a point in your life when you would be on your own, and all you have is yourself. I’m strong; my friends know that, because the years of pain notwithstanding, I manage to wear a smile day by day and continue living. But it is in actuality true that when no one is around you, that is the point in time that your emotions would emerge.
I don’t desire to talk about it anymore, because every time I verbalize the words, I feel the pain. And also, I don’t want my friends to be involved in my misery any longer. As much as I need them, sometimes I’d rather be unaided in this battle. I’ve been suffering for years, and from time to time I think that I’m already used to the pain. But whenever I think of it, every time I try to talk about it, the neglected lesion is scratched again. The numbness turns into a burning sensation again.
After minutes of walking in the darkness, I saw a little glow. Slowly, it became vivid; it became evident that it was coming from the street light meters away. Yes, I was never alone, He’s there. And I know that there is still hope.
Yesterday, I was able to commit an inadvertent mistake, a false move that troubled me until this afternoon.
Good thing, everything went better when I arrived at school. I guess it’s not Friday the 13th misfortune at all.
I was finally able to drop my Victoball at the Victometer and got my INSTITUTE OF NURSING CERTIFIED ASSET pin!
And I have faith that I passed the LMR concept exam.
And I was happy for my friends who passed the Remedial exam. But also felt dreadful for my friends and classmates who are going to re-take the remedial exam. But just be positive, I have faith in you guys.
I already felt better, but that thing still bothers me a little. So help me God.
While I was on my way home, I was ecstatic because of the good news that I received about the 3rd major exam. When I arrived home, SNN just started. It was a tribute to Francis ‘Kiko’ Magalona.
It was lunch break when a text message spread out saying that Francis M. passed away. I didn’t believe it because just months ago, I received the same text message so I thought it was just another bad joke.
So the news is true? Francis Magalona, the Master Rapper really did pass away. I really felt terrible, I almost cried. Kiko was considered a Jack of all trades; a singer, composer, actor, host, producer and so on. He composed anthems about youth, nation, freedom and many other hits that conveyed deep meaning. He started nationalistic rap. He was a Visionary, and a Legend awardee. I’m really not that into rap/hip-hop music because I love rock music more. But I really felt dreadful about his death, because he really makes good rap music. He was in fact, the only locale rap musician I adore.
I even felt worse when I learned that he was supposed to be a surprise guest of Eraserheads’ concert tomorrow. If only he is still alive, I would be able to watch him perform tomorrow.
Your music will remain, Mr. Francis M.
francismagalona.multiply.com
happybattle.multiply.com
*I changed my Multiply and Blogger’s profile music to Francis M’s Kaleidoscope world, a tribute to the Master Rapper.
WARNING: Medyo mahabang blog to. Walang sense. Wala kang mapapala pag binasa mo.
Surname.
Since my elementary days, I’m used to being the ‘last one’. Not the last one sa standings, but last one sa class list, my surname starts with the letter Z kasi. Huli sa pila, huli sa graded recitation, at huli sa graduation. Bihira lang may Professor na nag-uumpisa sa dulo. It has its some disadvantages sometimes, but most of the time, it’s an advantage.
Assembly Time.
As defined in an internet site, assembly time: The elapsed time taken for an assembling or coming together of a number of persons, usually for a particular purpose.
On the text message I received, this was stated: Revalida: March 1 7 to 8 am assembly 9 to 10 testing
Malinaw diba? So dumating ako around 8, or a little past 8am. When I arrived, I saw my classmates, tapos na daw sila mag-revalida. I was like, “wtf?”
So I entered school and talked to the clinical instructors, buti na lang mabait sila. The first CI said, “Go there, look for Ma’am ---“. Then pinuntahan ko dalawang CI sa may Lover’s Lane. Mababait din sila, then the male CI said, “upo ka muna dun, mag muni-muni ka muna.”
I followed his instructions, nag-muni-muni ako sa benches ng Law Building. Nagtanong ako sa CI sa may LB, masungit sya. Kay nag walk-out ako at umupo uli.
Around 8:30 am
“Blue Batch” na ang nakapila, second batch. Supposed to be first batch ako, sa “Green Batch”, mga maka-kalikasan.
Around 9:00 am
I decided na magpunta sa Science Building, para maglakad lakad. Ghost hunting sana, walang katao tao, medyo madilim kasi patay ang ilaw. Wala naman ako nakita, totoo talagang tsismis lang na may multo sa SB.
Around 10 am ata
Padating na sila, ang mga ‘people power people’, “Yellow Batch”. Ako na lang naka-green sa loob ng FEU. Nakaka-frustrate, at nakakainis. Naiiyak na ko sa sobrang inis. Marami ako nakikitang kakilala, pero pinili kong huwag na lang sila pansinin dahil sigurado, magtatanong lang sila kung bakit di pa ko tapos.
Nakita ko mga former groupmates ko, lumapit ako sandali sakanila, pero umalis din ako. Gusto ko sana makihalubilo sakanila, kaso nahihiya ako. At pinili ko na lang mag-isa. May mga pagkakataon, na mas mabuting mapag-isa.
Mahirap ang pakiramdam ng naghihintay, na may halong bwisit at inis. Nakakalungkot pala maghintay mag-isa, para kong sasabog.
Mahirap pala ang walang kaibigan, naisip ko tuloy, pano yung ibang mga ‘loner’ sa school, ang hirap pala ng pakiramdam nila. Pano kaya nila natitiis yun?
Naalala ko pa na naghihintay si mama sa labas ng school, lalo akong naiiyak, pati si mama nadamay pa. Halo halo na emosyon ko, ang hirap ng ganung pakiramdam.
Sinubukan kong ibaling ang pansin ko sa lahat ng bagay na nakikita ko. Tinignan ko yung botanical garden, kakabisaduhin ko sana yung mga scientific names ng mga halaman, kaso tinanggal na pala nila yung mga names. Pinansin ko yung mga naglilinis na JAMMAS, yung mga 2nd year, nanglait ng mga sapatos, bag at make-up na makita ko.
Pero kahit anong baling pala ang gawin mo, babalik at babalik ka din sa tunay na nilalaman ng puso mo.
Gusto ko tumayo at magtanong sa CI kung pwede na niya ako isingit, kaso parang may magnet na yung upuan, ayoko na tumayo, ayoko na tumuloy. Natakot din kasi ako na pagsungitan na naman nya, at natatakot din akong mapahiya sa harap ng ibang mga estyudanteng nakapila.
After a few minutes, nagkaron din ako ng lakas ng loob na tumayo sa kinauupuan ko. Minsan pala, kahit anong takot ang nararamdaman mo, kailangan mong maglakas ng loob, anuman ang kinatatakutan mo.
Tinanong ko yung masungit na CI kung after ng yellow batch ee pwede na ko mag-revalida. Napakaganda ng sagot nya: “Siguro”. PESTE.
Gusto ko mag-maldita, gusto ko sya sagutin, kaso di naman pwede. Sasabog na ko sa inis, naiiyak na ko pero pinigilan ko, nakakahiya sa mga tao.
Maya-maya nilapitan nya ko, sabi nya pumila daw ako sa dulo ng last section. Wow, buti naman yung ‘siguro’ nya ee nagging ‘oo’.
Pagpasok sa Law Building, may isa na namang kontrabidang CI. Paakyat na ko sa hagdan, pinigilan nya pa ako. Bumaba daw muna ako, at maghintay, “Parusa” daw sakin yun dahil late ako.
Around 11:15 am na nun, tinignan ko yung orasan sa IN office, halos parehas lang naman pala sa wristwatch ko. Tinitignan ako nung mga nakapila, nakakasar. Gusto ko na mag-tantrums, kaya ang ginawa ko, I faced the wall. 19 minutes, kaya ko to. Pero pagkatapos ng mga ilang minuto, tinawag ako ni kontrabida number 2, umakyat na daw ako sa 3rd floor. Bago umakyat, tinanong nya ko kung ano daw nangyari sakin, bakit daw ako late. Sinabi ko yung tungkol sa “assembly time”, sabi nya mali daw yun 7-7:30 daw ang assembly. Bullshit. Naiiyak ako sa inis, sabi nya kalamahin ko daw sarili ko, ni hindi ko sya tinignan. Dinala ko ng isang mabait na CI sa isang room, kasama ang isang section. Wala ako kilala sakanila ni isa. Familiar lang si ‘Raymond Gutierrez’.
Almost 12:00 pm
Nakaupo pa rin ako sa loob ng room na yon. Napansin ako nung isang CI, bakit daw ‘green’ ako. Sabi nya: “sana huwag ka mapansin, baka kasi hindi ka tanggapin”. *PESTE. So after ko maghintay ng halos 4 hours, hindi nyo ko tatangapin?* OA aa.
Past 12 pm ng papilahin na kami, hintay na naman. Nakakapagod pala talaga maghintay.
Medyo nag scan naman ako sa ilang topics ng Revalida, I was hoping na alam ko ang matapat sakin, at sana, hindi masayang ang paghihintay ko. Maaga pa lang inisip ko na na huwag na tumuloy, tutal 20% lang naman ng RLE grade ang Revalida, hindi masyadong kawalan. Pero tumuloy ako, naisip ko kasi, sayang.
Pagpasok ko sa room, POOF! Kung alin yung wala sa video, yun pa natapat sakin. Sinubukan ko, at pumasa naman ako. Pero sobrang disappointed ako. Di pa ko nakakalabas ng room, naiyak na ko. Wala pang signal na lumabas na sa room, tumakbo na ko palabas.
Sa Nursing Building ako dumaan, pero bago makalabas ng NB, tumigil muna ko sa pagtakbo. Umiyak. Nilabas ko sama ng loob ko, galit at disappointment. Kung alam ko lang na mababa lang ang makukuha ko, di na lang sana ko naghintay.
Naisip ko tuloy, minsan pala talaga, hindi tama na maghintay ka. Lalo na kung hindi ka naman sigurado sa hinihintay mo. Baka kasi sa huli, masayang lang paghihintay mo, at baka masaktan ka lang.
Paglabas ko ng NB, nakatingin sila sakin, halata atang umiyak ako. Nakakaiya, kaya tumakbo ako. Gusto kong umiyak kay mama at ilabas pa ang nararamdaman ko. Pero naisip ko, huwag na lang.
Tinanong nya ko, kung ano ang nangyari sakin. Sabi ko “wala”. Bakit daw mukha akong umiyak, sabi ko “wala”. Nakita kong biglang nag-alala ang mga mata nya, mas nasaktan ako dun.
Wala naman talagang point ang blog na ito. Gusto ko lang ilabas ang sama ng loob, ka-badtripan at inis ko. Kaya kanina sa duty, ayaw kong pag-usapan ang Revalida. Gusto ko lang ilabas lahat sa blog na to, at ibaon na sa limot ang pesteng Revalida na yun.
Pasensya na kung binasa mo ang walang sense na blog na to. I warned you.
This is the first time, in my 20 years of existence, that a flood like this happened in our area. Good thing that our street was not affected.
The effect of typhoon Ondoy is really devastating, we all know it. Photos and videos are disturbing, it's really extremely upsetting.
As of now, I am still worried because I still didn't receive a message from my best friend and close friends from Marikina and Malabon. My relatives from Greenpark, Cainta are okay and they stayed here in our home for a while. We also have a relative somewhere in Cainta and still no news from them.
:(
While today, I received my board rating from PRC. And I was happy about the result. But after the happiness, the painful truth about this calamity took me over.
Enter the university, umpisa ng pagpila, univ grounds, akyat ng 4th floor (high school), Building A to B.
3:53pm -
Baba ng 3rd floor, Building B to A, baba ng 2nd floor, Building A to B.
5:48pm -
Baba ng 1st floor.
6:18pm -
Out of High school Building.
6:25pm -
Enter college building.
6:30pm -
Reached 4th floor.
6:38pm -
Enter University Gym (4th floor).
8:33pm -
Nakalabas ng gym. 4th floor, baba sa 3rd, 2nd, 1st floor.
September 6, 2009
1:42AM -
Nakalabas ng college Building.
1:52AM -
Nakalabas ng university, Central Avenue.
2:45AM -
Enter gate ng Templo.
Pila, tayo, upo, lakad, takbo, antok, pagod, ulan, gutom. 3 beses din ako nabigyan ng plastic, na may lamang 2 cupcake/fudgee bar, juice, candy. 1 beses nabigyan ng dinner na pinilahan ng 2 oras nila kuya.
Pumila ako kahit mag-isa ako, walang kasama, walang kakilala, para lang masilayan sya.
13 oras ng pagpila at paghihintay, kapalit ng 5 segundo ng huling pagsilay sa kanya.
Ganun ata talaga kapag mahal mo ang isang tao, handa ka mag sakripisyo.
September 7, 2009
Ilang oras na nakatayo sa ilalim ng ulan, masilayan lang ang paghahatid sa kanyang huling hantungan. Ngawit, pagod, gutom, buhos ng ulan at buhos ng luha.
Diretso sa Pampanga, para naman sa pagpanaw ng isang kamag-anak.
Linggo ng pagdadalamhati. Hanggang kailan, hanggang kailan?
I saw this coming because of her condition. But despite the anticipatory grieving, the Philippines was saddened by former President Corazon Aquino’s death yesterday. This is the least thing I could do, to tie a yellow ribbon on my blog. And another is to be brave like her in every situation I am, in every way I can.
To the brave woman who regained the Philippines’ democracy, to our country’s first woman president, may you rest in peace. UPDATE: I just want to add something; she is the first woman president in Asia. And I also learned that she is my schoolmate because she studied law in the same university where I graduated from but she gave up law eventually.
They pushed me, I was about to fall but I was able to recover my sense of balance. Everything was in slow motion; I felt that something was taken from me. I was holding my digital camera at my left hand, my right hand on my bag. I saw his face, he stared at me. The whole thing was still in dawdling motion, he was moving away from me with two more guys. He abruptly disappeared in the crowd of people, and then everything around me returned to normal pace. I gazed blankly at the multitude of people; something significant was taken from me. But I was not able to react quickly as if I have a GCS of 7.
Then suddenly, I regained my consciousness, I shouted, “magnanakaw!”
HAHA. Akala mo love story? LMAO.
That’s how my motorola phone was taken from me earlier while I was in AKO MISMO Dog Tag Day in Bonifacio High Street.(in slow motion =D). That’s the reason why I went home early and didn’t wait for the other bands to play. I feel bad not because I lost my phone (though I really love that phone) but because I do not know how to tell my mom that I lost a phone again (this is like the 5th or 6th time). Oh yes, until now, I haven’t told my mom yet and I’m not planning to because I don’t know how. Argh. So not until a relative of mine reads this, they wouldn’t know.
It’s just weird kasi I’ve been to Pulp, Muziklaban, Myxmo (concerts wherein there are more people and it’s really mas magulo) and this happened now kung kelan I attended a concert for a cause. Weird much huh.
Everything of this happened just because I lied to my mom earlier. I didn’t tell her that I was going to a concert, the reason why I don’t know how to tell her. (First time huh? =D)
Pero nagsisisi na talaga ko, swear, God knows I regret it.
Pero natatawa talaga ko na naiinis. =D
AKO MISMO, ANG NADUKUTAN NG PHONE KANINA SA AKO MISMO DOG TAG DAY.
I’ve been through hell just to get to that event. And then this? Kaya pala, parang ayaw ako paalisin kanina. And hey, I didn’t attend that event just because of the dog tag and the bands, but because I really wanted to make a stand for change. And that change starts within our selves. But looks like some people didn’t know the purpose of that event.
While I was on my way home, I passed by a murky street, only one street light is on. Whilst I was in close proximity to that light, it suddenly turned off. Total darkness. I was looking straight ahead, but I saw nothing. I heard nothing; I couldn’t hear even the music from my ipod. I wanted to shout, but not a sound comes out. I felt so alone.
I have lots of friends. Close friends. Best friends. Real friends. But there would really be a point in your life when you would be on your own, and all you have is yourself. I’m strong; my friends know that, because the years of pain notwithstanding, I manage to wear a smile day by day and continue living. But it is in actuality true that when no one is around you, that is the point in time that your emotions would emerge.
I don’t desire to talk about it anymore, because every time I verbalize the words, I feel the pain. And also, I don’t want my friends to be involved in my misery any longer. As much as I need them, sometimes I’d rather be unaided in this battle. I’ve been suffering for years, and from time to time I think that I’m already used to the pain. But whenever I think of it, every time I try to talk about it, the neglected lesion is scratched again. The numbness turns into a burning sensation again.
After minutes of walking in the darkness, I saw a little glow. Slowly, it became vivid; it became evident that it was coming from the street light meters away. Yes, I was never alone, He’s there. And I know that there is still hope.
Yesterday, I was able to commit an inadvertent mistake, a false move that troubled me until this afternoon.
Good thing, everything went better when I arrived at school. I guess it’s not Friday the 13th misfortune at all.
I was finally able to drop my Victoball at the Victometer and got my INSTITUTE OF NURSING CERTIFIED ASSET pin!
And I have faith that I passed the LMR concept exam.
And I was happy for my friends who passed the Remedial exam. But also felt dreadful for my friends and classmates who are going to re-take the remedial exam. But just be positive, I have faith in you guys.
I already felt better, but that thing still bothers me a little. So help me God.
While I was on my way home, I was ecstatic because of the good news that I received about the 3rd major exam. When I arrived home, SNN just started. It was a tribute to Francis ‘Kiko’ Magalona.
It was lunch break when a text message spread out saying that Francis M. passed away. I didn’t believe it because just months ago, I received the same text message so I thought it was just another bad joke.
So the news is true? Francis Magalona, the Master Rapper really did pass away. I really felt terrible, I almost cried. Kiko was considered a Jack of all trades; a singer, composer, actor, host, producer and so on. He composed anthems about youth, nation, freedom and many other hits that conveyed deep meaning. He started nationalistic rap. He was a Visionary, and a Legend awardee. I’m really not that into rap/hip-hop music because I love rock music more. But I really felt dreadful about his death, because he really makes good rap music. He was in fact, the only locale rap musician I adore.
I even felt worse when I learned that he was supposed to be a surprise guest of Eraserheads’ concert tomorrow. If only he is still alive, I would be able to watch him perform tomorrow.
Your music will remain, Mr. Francis M.
francismagalona.multiply.com
happybattle.multiply.com
*I changed my Multiply and Blogger’s profile music to Francis M’s Kaleidoscope world, a tribute to the Master Rapper.
WARNING: Medyo mahabang blog to. Walang sense. Wala kang mapapala pag binasa mo.
Surname.
Since my elementary days, I’m used to being the ‘last one’. Not the last one sa standings, but last one sa class list, my surname starts with the letter Z kasi. Huli sa pila, huli sa graded recitation, at huli sa graduation. Bihira lang may Professor na nag-uumpisa sa dulo. It has its some disadvantages sometimes, but most of the time, it’s an advantage.
Assembly Time.
As defined in an internet site, assembly time: The elapsed time taken for an assembling or coming together of a number of persons, usually for a particular purpose.
On the text message I received, this was stated: Revalida: March 1 7 to 8 am assembly 9 to 10 testing
Malinaw diba? So dumating ako around 8, or a little past 8am. When I arrived, I saw my classmates, tapos na daw sila mag-revalida. I was like, “wtf?”
So I entered school and talked to the clinical instructors, buti na lang mabait sila. The first CI said, “Go there, look for Ma’am ---“. Then pinuntahan ko dalawang CI sa may Lover’s Lane. Mababait din sila, then the male CI said, “upo ka muna dun, mag muni-muni ka muna.”
I followed his instructions, nag-muni-muni ako sa benches ng Law Building. Nagtanong ako sa CI sa may LB, masungit sya. Kay nag walk-out ako at umupo uli.
Around 8:30 am
“Blue Batch” na ang nakapila, second batch. Supposed to be first batch ako, sa “Green Batch”, mga maka-kalikasan.
Around 9:00 am
I decided na magpunta sa Science Building, para maglakad lakad. Ghost hunting sana, walang katao tao, medyo madilim kasi patay ang ilaw. Wala naman ako nakita, totoo talagang tsismis lang na may multo sa SB.
Around 10 am ata
Padating na sila, ang mga ‘people power people’, “Yellow Batch”. Ako na lang naka-green sa loob ng FEU. Nakaka-frustrate, at nakakainis. Naiiyak na ko sa sobrang inis. Marami ako nakikitang kakilala, pero pinili kong huwag na lang sila pansinin dahil sigurado, magtatanong lang sila kung bakit di pa ko tapos.
Nakita ko mga former groupmates ko, lumapit ako sandali sakanila, pero umalis din ako. Gusto ko sana makihalubilo sakanila, kaso nahihiya ako. At pinili ko na lang mag-isa. May mga pagkakataon, na mas mabuting mapag-isa.
Mahirap ang pakiramdam ng naghihintay, na may halong bwisit at inis. Nakakalungkot pala maghintay mag-isa, para kong sasabog.
Mahirap pala ang walang kaibigan, naisip ko tuloy, pano yung ibang mga ‘loner’ sa school, ang hirap pala ng pakiramdam nila. Pano kaya nila natitiis yun?
Naalala ko pa na naghihintay si mama sa labas ng school, lalo akong naiiyak, pati si mama nadamay pa. Halo halo na emosyon ko, ang hirap ng ganung pakiramdam.
Sinubukan kong ibaling ang pansin ko sa lahat ng bagay na nakikita ko. Tinignan ko yung botanical garden, kakabisaduhin ko sana yung mga scientific names ng mga halaman, kaso tinanggal na pala nila yung mga names. Pinansin ko yung mga naglilinis na JAMMAS, yung mga 2nd year, nanglait ng mga sapatos, bag at make-up na makita ko.
Pero kahit anong baling pala ang gawin mo, babalik at babalik ka din sa tunay na nilalaman ng puso mo.
Gusto ko tumayo at magtanong sa CI kung pwede na niya ako isingit, kaso parang may magnet na yung upuan, ayoko na tumayo, ayoko na tumuloy. Natakot din kasi ako na pagsungitan na naman nya, at natatakot din akong mapahiya sa harap ng ibang mga estyudanteng nakapila.
After a few minutes, nagkaron din ako ng lakas ng loob na tumayo sa kinauupuan ko. Minsan pala, kahit anong takot ang nararamdaman mo, kailangan mong maglakas ng loob, anuman ang kinatatakutan mo.
Tinanong ko yung masungit na CI kung after ng yellow batch ee pwede na ko mag-revalida. Napakaganda ng sagot nya: “Siguro”. PESTE.
Gusto ko mag-maldita, gusto ko sya sagutin, kaso di naman pwede. Sasabog na ko sa inis, naiiyak na ko pero pinigilan ko, nakakahiya sa mga tao.
Maya-maya nilapitan nya ko, sabi nya pumila daw ako sa dulo ng last section. Wow, buti naman yung ‘siguro’ nya ee nagging ‘oo’.
Pagpasok sa Law Building, may isa na namang kontrabidang CI. Paakyat na ko sa hagdan, pinigilan nya pa ako. Bumaba daw muna ako, at maghintay, “Parusa” daw sakin yun dahil late ako.
Around 11:15 am na nun, tinignan ko yung orasan sa IN office, halos parehas lang naman pala sa wristwatch ko. Tinitignan ako nung mga nakapila, nakakasar. Gusto ko na mag-tantrums, kaya ang ginawa ko, I faced the wall. 19 minutes, kaya ko to. Pero pagkatapos ng mga ilang minuto, tinawag ako ni kontrabida number 2, umakyat na daw ako sa 3rd floor. Bago umakyat, tinanong nya ko kung ano daw nangyari sakin, bakit daw ako late. Sinabi ko yung tungkol sa “assembly time”, sabi nya mali daw yun 7-7:30 daw ang assembly. Bullshit. Naiiyak ako sa inis, sabi nya kalamahin ko daw sarili ko, ni hindi ko sya tinignan. Dinala ko ng isang mabait na CI sa isang room, kasama ang isang section. Wala ako kilala sakanila ni isa. Familiar lang si ‘Raymond Gutierrez’.
Almost 12:00 pm
Nakaupo pa rin ako sa loob ng room na yon. Napansin ako nung isang CI, bakit daw ‘green’ ako. Sabi nya: “sana huwag ka mapansin, baka kasi hindi ka tanggapin”. *PESTE. So after ko maghintay ng halos 4 hours, hindi nyo ko tatangapin?* OA aa.
Past 12 pm ng papilahin na kami, hintay na naman. Nakakapagod pala talaga maghintay.
Medyo nag scan naman ako sa ilang topics ng Revalida, I was hoping na alam ko ang matapat sakin, at sana, hindi masayang ang paghihintay ko. Maaga pa lang inisip ko na na huwag na tumuloy, tutal 20% lang naman ng RLE grade ang Revalida, hindi masyadong kawalan. Pero tumuloy ako, naisip ko kasi, sayang.
Pagpasok ko sa room, POOF! Kung alin yung wala sa video, yun pa natapat sakin. Sinubukan ko, at pumasa naman ako. Pero sobrang disappointed ako. Di pa ko nakakalabas ng room, naiyak na ko. Wala pang signal na lumabas na sa room, tumakbo na ko palabas.
Sa Nursing Building ako dumaan, pero bago makalabas ng NB, tumigil muna ko sa pagtakbo. Umiyak. Nilabas ko sama ng loob ko, galit at disappointment. Kung alam ko lang na mababa lang ang makukuha ko, di na lang sana ko naghintay.
Naisip ko tuloy, minsan pala talaga, hindi tama na maghintay ka. Lalo na kung hindi ka naman sigurado sa hinihintay mo. Baka kasi sa huli, masayang lang paghihintay mo, at baka masaktan ka lang.
Paglabas ko ng NB, nakatingin sila sakin, halata atang umiyak ako. Nakakaiya, kaya tumakbo ako. Gusto kong umiyak kay mama at ilabas pa ang nararamdaman ko. Pero naisip ko, huwag na lang.
Tinanong nya ko, kung ano ang nangyari sakin. Sabi ko “wala”. Bakit daw mukha akong umiyak, sabi ko “wala”. Nakita kong biglang nag-alala ang mga mata nya, mas nasaktan ako dun.
Wala naman talagang point ang blog na ito. Gusto ko lang ilabas ang sama ng loob, ka-badtripan at inis ko. Kaya kanina sa duty, ayaw kong pag-usapan ang Revalida. Gusto ko lang ilabas lahat sa blog na to, at ibaon na sa limot ang pesteng Revalida na yun.
Pasensya na kung binasa mo ang walang sense na blog na to. I warned you.
I've been blogging since 2004 and I'm stillexisting.
I’m a rocker, and a party girl.
I’m sad, also I’m happy.
I’m a good friend; along with I’m your worst enemy.
I cheat, yet I love.
I hurt other people, thus I always get broken.
I’m weak, but I’m strong.
I’m nice, yet I’m mean.
I suck, but I rock!
this is MILES, this is ME..
I AM...
delusional. stupid at times. a jerk sometimes. slightly sensitive. a brat. short-tempered. used to getting what I want, if I don’t, I’m furious. the event organizer. mysterious to some. a snob to many. trustworthy. a good friend. already quit drinking. don’t smoke. complicated.
My Names:
Miles -- to most people I know.
Darla -- to my group mates. you know the movie Finding Nemo? Brat -- to my group mates and to some friends.
Zeb, Bez, Best -- to my Best friends.
Otso -- to some of my High School Friends.
Ning -- to my Dad.
LOVES
pizza
pasta
tacos
nachos
grilled squid
coffee
chocolate cakes
sisig
ONE TREE HILL
Gossip Girl
HATES siopao
diningding paksiw shell fish
pineapple
DESIRES
TOP the BOARD EXAM because of HIS help update: I didn't top, but I passed it. Of course, because of His help.
new phone from Kuya Z. update: I have a new phone. Thank you Kuya Z.
meet new people
attend gym class
get a temporary good-paying job
update: I have a not-so-temporary, not-so-good paying job.
RUDE messages will be deleted and user will be BANNED! My cbox has a little problem so if you already pressed GO, don't repeat it to avoid accidental spamming. Get it? Not difficult to understand right? :) I ADORE TAGS but COMMENTS on posts are LOVED. :) Designed for your lovable messages. For Ex-Links, say it nicely. okayy? BETTER if you link me first. :)
Hi There! I'm MILES, a future REGISTERED NURSE. Random Thoughts of a registered nurse, a friend, a daughter, a music lover, a party-goer and a servant of God. Any similarity to someone else's blog post is purely a coincidence.
Bagyong Ondoy
UPDATE: I just want to add something; she is the first woman president in Asia. And I also learned that she is my schoolmate because she studied law in the same university where I graduated from but she gave up law eventually.
